Write a personal essay in which you describe and reflect on some of the things that bring excitement and wonder into your life (2023)

Feedback: this is a low H1 personal essay. The issue is to a great extent with the introduction – it feels unnatural, contrived, like the author looked up lots of words in the dictionary. Moreover, it doesn’t really tell us much about what will follow in the rest of the essay, which doesn’t help with engagement. This is a good reminder of just how disproportionately important introductions are!

I must admit that there can be some strings of time in my life where are excitement and wonder are scarce, almost as if I’m a grizzled architect on a venture exploring for the lost golden treasure. This elusive treasure equivalates to the unique things I have indulged myself within overtime. The vast array of joyful wealth contained in these things is what permits me to persist with this life which sometimes has the ability to transform into a pessimist. The enthusiasm for life they lend me in even my most dismal of times is what I would like to reflect on over the course of this essay. To quote Oscar Wilde “to live is the rarest thing. Most people just exist”. To achieve this rare state of “living”, one must uncover the things that radiate wonder and excitement in their life.

School to some is a place that wreaks havoc upon their life, almost prison-like in how it limits from the true fruition in their lives. (See what I mean by unnatural? You could change this to, almost prison-like in how it limits them in finding direction or pursuing their dreams – or something in this vein. It gets a lot better as the essay goes on.) I feel I differ from most in this area however, I’ve always felt an immense gratitude for school and an overwhelming tremor of nerves as it comes to an end. I’ve recently began to observe more closely, the passing moments here. Simplistic things like getting a chuckle out of a friend at lunchtime as a result of my self-proclaimed wittiness or getting on the nerves of a teacher at the cost of this same wittiness, I’ll miss them. Who is going to laugh at my rather inconsistent jokes now? I have my last lunchtime with my friends fast approaching on the horizon but if I had the choice I’d let it stay there on the hills, I’d let it fuel my excitement for the rest of my life if I could. The last derby amongst me and my piers, I have a hunch we’re all going to put in a bit more graft to get the win, I think I’ll even leave an extra tackle on my opposing mate, a signature of our lunchtime matches! School is something that has filled me with wonder in the present, but will soon be reduced to just past memories I yearn for.

Not to contradict myself, I love school but every time I wonder about the future, a weight as heavy as the Alps trundles down upon me, metaphorically of course. But this is a weight that I warmly embrace with open arms, a weight full to the brim with excitement. What’s not to love about the future? The near future at least. When I think about dotting down my last words and leaving that exam hall, a giddiness stacks up inside of me, one that I feel is a new, unpalpable excitement. Its all built up to this, I’ve spent the brunt of eighteen years, being bestowed with an education and some life lessons along the way, although I still don’t know how to do my own tie so perhaps I’ll put that on the checklist once I’ve knocked off this leaving cert thing. In my opinion, having a quench for the taste of the future is fundamental to my excitement. We all require something that can aid us in evading the strains of our everyday life, in my case its these exams. With college just around the corner, opportunities await me, opportunities that fascinate me and ones that I will undoubtedly dive joyfully and headfirst into.

I want to jump back to reality, the future is exciting no doubt, but something that I still find marvel in currently is the precious times I get to spend with my family, my grandad in particular and the golf course we wasted so many sunny and rainy days at if you want to be even more specific than that. Don’t get me wrong, my entire family holds a special place in my heart, my embarrassing yet loveable ‘fun dad’, my protective mother who will try give me advice until the cows come home and my tiringly argumentative older brother, a person who has guided me through life whether he knows it or not, although a fact I would never admit to him directly. You get my point, they’re all people who lend me wonder but the times with my grandad are unique, almost euphoric when I recall the cherished memories we’ve shared together. His wife, my granny passed when I was at a young age so mam employed me and my brother to keep him company, something we didn’t know at the time but would end up being eternally thankful for. I can still recapture the first day he took me out golfing, trying with the best of his ability to teach me the ways of the game he adored so very much. A unique feeling of happiness entered me that day, despite the fact I wasn’t very good. His teaching eventually caught on however and because of him, I am privileged to have an activity I can do everyday, allowing me to escape my qualms and indulge into a game of astoundment. This is just one of the many electrifying gifts the wise old man, as he calls himself, presented me with at a young age that I still find genuine awe in today.

As I’m writing this, I’m realising it is the more minimalistic things in life that are at the core of my jubilation, maybe that says something about me? I have always believed I was pretty ordinary, I’ve never craved for stardom although I must admit it has appeared in my dreams, though that’s just my subconscious talking! This ordinariness is what led me to the flattering perception that I would have a smooth sailing life but I believe everyone has that one event when the waves become too much and we find ourselves suddenly overboard. For me, it was when I was diagnosed with type one diabetes at the ripe age of thirteen. I couldn’t believe my luck and my mind told me at the time, this was what would define me. Ironically it turned out, that what I thought would drown me ended up doing more good for me than I could ever imagine. It let to the one most common and recurring thing in my life, the gym. Again, I am back to the plain and simple but the gym is one of the only constants I possess, a constant supply of wonder to my banal, everyday life. I can vividly reminisce on the first time I went, stepping out of my comfort zone with sweat running out of my palms was a challenge for me. But it turned out to be the single greatest decision I ever made. Now the thudding of weights and tune of hard work off the treadmill emulsify my anxiety and fill me with a glorious sense of wonder. Wonder about the amusement I find there and wonder why I was ever nervous to go in the first place. Before being diagnosed I was idle, waiting for the wonder in life to come knock on my front door but I soon learned that was not how it worked. I sought out the gym and in return it has granted me health, an improved social life and most importantly an anticipation for every tomorrow.

Its sometimes difficult to truly nail down what it is that bestows us with wonder and excitement. Aspiring for what might be is what I believe to be a principal feature to achieving both. We all must dream even if it is not meant to come true, it makes me feel as though there is an alternate improved life waiting for me with my name stamped on it. As Neil Armstrong said “mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand”. However, I also find that existing in the present can be quintessential into constructing my ideal, joyous life. It is here that we learn the true meaning of emotions such as love and happiness that act as the foundations for a wonderfully splendid life.